Rosey

The New Golden Grobanites

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Sarah, did Neil Gaiman talk about his books? I've heard of him but never read any of his books. 

My sister's 11:00am flight was cancelled due to maintenance. She was so mad. The next flight wasn't until 4:11pm, so I drove her to our cousin's house so that I could go ahead and leave to come home. She didn't want to hold me up. The cousin was able to take her to the airport. I got really sleepy towards the end of my drive. I had to sing, yell, slap my legs to stay awake. I don't like to get like that. Goes to show how exhausted I am. I've been putting things away and folding laundry and just lazing around. Am feeling better and will go to work tomorrow. My dad now gets a chance to settle in without being dependent on my sister and me.

Alan and I will be babysitting for Colin the night of August 5th. I hope to get to see him and his parents more often.

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Brenda, yes! It was like a fireside chat type of deal, and then he did some readings from some of his books. It was fantastic.

Glad that you got home OK and your dad settles in better without you guys around and starts to get used to the facility where he is living, and meets new people, so he's not just waiting for you to come visit. I hope you do something fun, for you this weekend and get some rest and downtime.

I was exhausted yesterday after our weekend of crazy - got home from work/drinks with coworkers and ended up falling asleep on the couch watching tv with Shawn. I think it finally caught up with me! We have a few things going on the remainder of the summer but not like the on the go for days at a time like we have been, so that's good. 

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Brenda,so glad they are doing a few things to make your Dad feel happier.I think now is the time for you to enjoy some me time and get back to a more normal life.

Sounds like you are enjoying your life Sarah don,t overdo it having a good time now.😃

Went to the Doctors today about my hands and feet and he is writing again for je to go back and see the consultant dermatologist at the hospital.Meanwhile it is just back to ointments and potions and the usual things.Woke up to 2 more splits on my feet this morning.It is incredible how they open up over night.Never mind ,it had been a beatiful day today and I had to over the mountain pass to get to the doctors and it was beautiful up there.People everywhere taking ,photos of the wonderful views of the mountains and lakes.A good to be alive morning!...Irene

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Irene, I can imagine in my mind's eye exactly what type of day it was yesterday. The weather certainly plays a part in making the day brilliant, but I think our outlook on life or our general attitude plays a role in how we perceive our surroundings. I am so sorry about those cracks showing up on your feet. My husband gets cracks on his feet and he says they are quite painful. He won't go to his karate class when they are bad. I think he has picked up athletes foot from the mats there at the karate studio. They do clean them several times a week but it's probably not enough. 

Speaking of having fun, I plan to call my friend tonight so we can get together. She and I are supposed to go shopping for my birthday gift. We did that for her birthday in April. 

Sarah, you are probably looking forward to some good downtime in the coming weeks. I bet that "talk" with Neil Gaiman was interesting. Do you remember Malin who used to post all the time on this site before her death? She was a huge fan of Gaiman's. If memory serves me correctly, I believe she interviewed him a long time ago for an article and they became great friends.

I was doing some cleaning in Alan's office a little while ago by vacuuming some spider webs under a window sill and all of a sudden swarms of ants started pouring out from under the sill...🙀 I had a can of Raid bug killer handy so I sprayed them to kingdom come. I hate to think what else is living in these walls. It's the part of the house that was added on in 2006. Looking back, we see more clearly that the people who did the work were not master craftsmen. If the company were in business we would come after them for shoddy work we've discovered after the fact. No wonder they went out of business....😟

 

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Brenda, sure I remember Malin. The talk with Neil was definitely interesting. It was like a fireside chat type of deal and it was really interesting. Plus he read from some of his pieces, so that was also fun. Sorry to hear you found ants coming out of the walls in the office, hopefully you don't find anything else! I'd have probably lost it. 

It's really cool and gross here today. High around 60 or so and rainy. While I don't love this weather in the middle of summer I do like being able to give the AC's a break for a few days. I'm afraid they're going to burn out since they've been running so constantly. But I'm working from home and it's a lazy, cool, PJ day. 

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Talking of ants Brenda ,a few years ago ,a hoard of them started coming out rrom under my fireplace in the front room.I remember John putting poison down(which is always difficult with pets) it was in liquid form in a tube.You squeezed a drop out onto something flat and they would come out and drink it and then take it back to the ants nests with them.It was horrendous for a few days and it must have worked because we never saw them again.

 

We have had a lovely few days,beautful sunshine and warm.Went to town for shopping today and hope tomorrow will be nice as I have a few jobs I would like to do outside.Have had a lazy afternoon and an easy chicken salad for tea and now I am finished for the day.........Irene

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Sarah, we could use some of that cool weather around here. It's been in the high 90's this week. My car temperature gauge has registered at 100 degrees by the time I leave work to drive home. I can't even sit in the car while waiting for the AC to begin cooling down. That heat sucks the oxygen out of the air!

Ants are no fun to deal with, Irene. I thought they only hung around areas with water or around food. None of those exists in the office. Your nice weather and trip to town sound so nice. 

Tomorrow my plans are to clean out the refrigerator. It has been so long since I've had the time for deep cleaning so there is a lot to do. I think there are a lot of items in the freezer that need to get tossed!

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Brenda, get some of the traps that have peanut butter poison in them.we get sugar ants in our kitchen every year and these work pretty well keeping them at bay. You see a lot for a few days but then they take the poison back to their nest and it kills them. 

I'm getting new tires on my car today and doing a few errands but then we're finally starting to clean out my office. 

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Hi Sarah, how is the cleaning going on your office? I've never heard of peanut butter poison for ants. I'll have to tell Shelley about that. They have an infestation, too.

I've finished cleaning out the refrigerator. I did the frig side first thing this morning, then after I had a chance to rest up and run some errands, I tackled the freezer side. The inside looks brand new! Man, it had really gotten bad in there. I tossed out a lot of crap, so now there's a lot more room. Tomorrow morning, I'm meeting my friend, Pat, at IHOP for breakfast. She's paying as part of my birthday present. Then she's taking me shopping. We did the same for her birthday in April. I got Alan's bathroom cleaned up yesterday evening. I feel like I'm actually getting things done around here. There will be lots to do at my Dad's when I visit from now on. Our cousin showed me where the dump is, so I will be making good use of it. The upstairs and the basement have so much crap it's ridiculous. It's not even stuff anyone wants. A lot of stuff in the basement is just pure trash. Anything that is worth something will remain until Dad is gone. I don't want to get rid of his good stuff while he's still around--he might think someone is pulling the rug out from under him. I haven't talked to him since Monday--it's so weird not being able to talk to him when I want to. We can call the facility, but I know it will be a hassle. My sister will be calling him tomorrow, so we'll see how he's doing then. I'm sure it will take him some time to get used to that place.

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Brenda doesn't your dad have a mobile phone. Then you can ring him for a chat. It is not the. Same using the facilities phone. 

I am glad you are having some relaxation going out with a friend. That stuff the ants take back to their nest is called Nippon it is really good as they take it back yo the nest and they are all killed. Not sure if you woukd have this in USA though. 

Good for you getting your fridge clean. I hate doing that but I am really happy when I gave finished . 

I have been doing more infant school appeals this last week. It really wears me out so apart from washing and ironing I haven't done much else! 

Sarah I often see Malin mentioned but didn't know who she was. Did she die young ? I think it must have been before I started using jg.com  you seem to be really busy all the time but I guess it is a question of work hard play hard! 

Irene I hope your feet respond to treatment and walking isn't too painful . 

Glad you are having nice weather ours is very mixed but I believe we are about to have high temperatures in the next few days 

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Brenda, when you get to the good stuff at your dad's house, definitely make sure to ask your girls or your niece if they want anything, especially furniture. Anything that you think isn't their taste, they might find space for. I'll be interested to hear how your dad is doing when you hear from your sister. I hope you have a nice day with your friend Pat tomorrow.  Glad you got the fridge and freezer cleaned today. Nice that you're able to catch up on things now that your dad is in a place where he is safe and you have peace of mind.

Carol, yes, we are busy a lot of the time, but it's just the way our life is. We can only sit home and do nothing for so long. The weekend we got home from England,  we had planned to do nothing but ended up doing some errands and seeing a movie. 

We had plans to start cleaning my office today, and that didn't happen. When I got home from my tire appointment, we decided to move around the air conditioners so the bigger one that's been upstairs is now downstairs, and we got a smaller one for the bedroom upstairs. Then we did a couple of more errands and ended up going for a late lunch and were going to go fishing but it's been so rainy here, there's not much shoreline to stand on. Oh well, we had a nice ride at least. Tomorrow, we are going to a drag brunch (like, a brunch with a drag show) and we're really looking forward to it. 

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Well, a lot has happened since I last posted. I ended up calling Dad Sunday evening and he was so sad and depressed. When we hung up, I started crying. Then Donna called me this morning. She took him to his home for a shower (got permission to do this) and she said he cried all the way home and even while sitting at his picnic table outside as Donna and his neighbor Katie were trying to calm him down. He wants to come home and if he can't, he feels he will die of a broken heart. So I stewed over this for the rest of my shift, then I came home and called Francia, then my sister. She made a good point: what good is his money if he's miserable. We might as well spend it on more assistance to keep him at home. So Donna and Francia will be with him most of his waking hours. And Donna said when the time comes for overnight care, they will take turns. So we are moving him back home on Saturday. It was an expensive lesson, but I think my sister and I have truly learned what we needed to know about Dad-- that being in his own home is what would help him live out his days with optimism. God bless Donna and Francia-- they are both angels and so devoted to Dad.

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Oh Brenda that is so sad to hear . You are doing the right thing for your father. I know how devoted those two ladies are. You couldn't have better care anywhere if they are prepared to be with him for all that time God bless them he is in good hands. Now he knows he is coming home he will be happy . 

The only thing is you can't keep up the level of care you have been giving unless you make your self ill . Perhaps you lay a few ground rules down will make him understand. You must have a life of your own with relaxation to be able to carry on supporting him in his own own home. So sorry you had to go through this though. You have been through a very stressful time. Be kind to yourself 

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Brenda, I'm so sorry that your dad is so upset being where he is. I am glad that Donna and Franica will be able to devote their time caring for him, in his home. Glad that you were able to work it out. I agree with Donna though, I hope knowing that your father has excellent care at his home, you can cut your visits down to once a month or so, to give yourself a break and to do some things that you enjoy doing. You have to give yourself a break, otherwise, I agree with Carol you're going to make yourself sick. Between working full time and how much you do for your girls and grandkids and your dad, you need to have some time for you too in order to relax. But do be kind to yourself, this has been hard for you.

We had such fun at the drag show brunch on Sunday. I can't wait to go to the next one. Shawn and I are now looking to book a mini getaway in September up to the White Mountains of New Hampshire. It's so gorgeous up there in the fall and I could use a few days of R&R, playing lawn games, sitting on the porch with a book and a cocktail and just enjoying the quiet. We've found a resort that I've been wanting to go to for awhile, so I'm just waiting for my boss to approve my days off and then will book. I really am looking forward to it. 

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Brenda.I agree with everyone else.If it makes him happy to be cared for at home and it makes you happy too then that is what you must do.I think you have two good carers for him ,they sound  genuinely fond of him.Itwas obviously a bad experience for him.As Carol says you must leave more time for yourself.Maybe you could see him every third week or even once per month.I am sure he will understand that you need more time now.I do hope so.

Glad you enjoyed thedrag show Sarah.It,s is good to get out and your mini getaway sounds just the ticket.

Phew,it has been warm these last fewdays but tonight we are expecting thunderstorms and heavy rain coming up from France.It shoud cool off a bit then.I don,t know how you girls in theUS cope with the heat you get.Went shopping today and finished off by having my teeth cleaned by the hygeneist at the dentist.I really hate that but today it wasn,t too bad.Hair cut tomorrow and boy does it need cutting.I have left it for too long really..............Irene

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Thank you so much, ladies. I will definitely be having a conversation with Dad about my need to scale back all this driving back and forth so often. I don't even know how to have fun anymore. My mind is so used to thinking of Dad and his needs that I feel guilty for even trying to think of myself. I probably need to see a therapist, which I am considering.

Irene, it's been really hot here today--in the mid 90's F. I went out for a 15 minute walk around 9:30am and it was really nice. Then at 1:30 I went for another walk on my break, and it got to the point where I felt I wasn't getting enough air, so I made a beeline for the front door to get back inside into the AC. I won't make that mistake again! I agree that seeing the hygenist is no fun at all. But at least the ladies in the office where I go are all about the comfort of the patient. So I have them apply a topical numbing agent at my gum line before they start all that horrible picking and scraping. It really makes a difference and I hardly ever try to leap out of the chair due to them hitting a sensitive spot.

Sarah, that getaway sounds divine. Just sitting with a book, enjoying the quiet and doing whatever you want---wow, that needs to be on my bucket list. We did get a bit of that for our anniversary when we went to Peaks of Otter in Virginia. But it was SO COLD that I could not enjoy my time outside. We must do that sort of thing in spring, summer or fall next time.

Carol, my sister and I are going by our gut feeling by moving Dad back home. When I called the director to advise her of our plans, she said "Well, he's getting a roommate tomorrow". I told her that getting a roommate won't solve anything, and that we feel we know our Dad well enough that he needs to be at home before something drastic happens. He was hinting to Donna that she needed to get his shotgun and "do something". She knew what he meant, but she tried to keep things light and she said "Well, if I do that, then I'll be in a place I don't want to be" (meaning jail). We knew that things were seriously bad if he was talking about being killed.

I will be glad when this move is done over the weekend. Poor Alan. He was hoping to get a chance to work in his shop here at home. His business is starting to suffer since he can't get the time at home he needs to get things organized for bringing in work. I told him he could come on home Sunday morning, since we are driving two vehicles. That way he'll have most of Sunday to do some work. I'll take Dad to church, have lunch, then come on home myself.

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Brenda, I think that's wise to set expectations with your dad that you will not be visiting every other weekend, but perhaps once a month. If you have Donna and Francia there all the time, I think you could visit less often. Perhaps seeing a therapist will help. Check your benefits at work, many have an employee referral program that will cover a number of visits. I hope you're able to take some time for yourself and starting to do things you want to do, for fun! 

I ended up booking our mini-getaway yesterday, even though my boss hasn't yet approved my time off that I requested. I don't see a problem with it and I can always cancel if I have to, with no penalty, so that's helpful.

It's hot and humid here today. I cranked the AC down to low before I left for work this morning to cool the house down before it gets really hot this afternoon. I'll ask Shawn to turn it back up to about 68 or so around lunchtime. 

 

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Sarah that break in the white mountains sounds idyllic I would love yo go there it sounds like a really relaxing holiday .

Brenda you really must stress to your father that you can't continue in the way that you have . With your commitment to work your own children and grandchildren plus your own husband there has been no time for you and as much as you love him it is not possible for you to continue as you have been doing. You really have to lay your cards on the table . 

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I will definitely be having a talk with my Dad about how often I am coming to his home. He probably has no idea what it's been like on my end.

I am going to prepare dinner for Shelley and her family in a few minutes. I told her I wanted to do it for them to help out a little. I will be making Tuscan Parmesan Garlic Chicken served over penne pasta, along with roasted carrots. I got the recipe from Facebook--it's one Shelley saved to her page because she wanted to try it.

 

....off to the kitchen now

 

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You do sound more lighthearted about it all nowBrenda.I am sure if you tell your Dad how difficult things have been for you he will understand but I think you have to try to be firm about it.I know it is all difficult but if he is happier in his own homeand he has good carers things should be OK.Best of luck moving him again at the weekend.

We havehad a lot of heavy thundery showers for the last couple of days.Did have a long walk on Wednesday but trouble s I now have a long split under my right foot.No walking now for afew days.Never mind ,they have a big garden to run around in

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Irene, are you scheduled yet to begin your light therapy again? You cannot continue with those splits on your feet. Bless your heart. I can't imagine how that must feel. I wish you could send some of those showers our way! We haven't had any rain in the past 13 days. The grass is starting to get dry and crunchy with this high heat. You cannot stay outdoors for any length of time in the afternoon - it's just so smothering.

Today at work, our department sponsored for the Mr. Softee truck to come at 1pm so we could each get a cone of soft serve ice cream. Couldn't have come on a better day! We had to wait outside in line so by the time we got our treat, we were ready for it's cold deliciousness to slide down our throats! I couldn't eat all of mine - it was just too much.

We are going to try and get Dad's things moved out  on Saturday between breakfast and lunch at the facility because the dining room is between Dad's hall and the one that leads outside. I think that was poor planning! When all the people are at the tables waiting for their food, it's hardly any room to get furniture through there. It was rough moving him in due to this. Plus, the weather will be even hotter, so I hope we don't faint!

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Brenda, ice cream on a hot day is the best! It's been so hot here too. :) Our AC In the living room almost can't keep up, although its keeping the house around a comfortable 70 degrees which is a hair warmer than Shawn likes it but its comfortable for me. Good luck moving your dad on Saturday - I hope it goes well - stay hydrated! That set up for the facility sounds odd, that the dining room is essentially in the middle of the hallway. 

This weekend we'll be finally tearing out the old retaining wall on our hill and building a new one.  Our plan is to build this on Sunday when its not as hot and somewhat overcast. I hope that we'll have a bunch of help. Many hands make light work. I'm excited about the stone that we chose, it was delivered early this morning. We're going to put a fire pit in that area too. I am really excited to see it all done! 

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Brenda. Hope your move today goes smoothly and you can explain to your Dad how stressed you have been in the past few years and it can't continue. Something has to give and it mustn't be you !

Sarah you are having so much fun improving your home since you have been there you  have such good friends to come and support you but I know you also help them so it all goes round in the end ! 

Irene I do hope you get to have your light treatment for  your feet it must be so painful for you good job you have a big garden for the dogs  to run off their energy giving you time to recover . 

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Sarah, best of luck with the retaining wall project! It ought to really change the look of that area in your yard. 

Carol, what have you been up to this weekend? How is Peter?

Yes, I do plan to have a talk with my dad. Today wasn't the day for it. He had to get a lot of complaining off his chest about what went on at the facility. He feared for his life, which I hadn't known. The dementia and Alzheimer's people were quite difficult for him to deal with. I never should have let them talk me into putting him in the memory care building. Huge mistake. He's safe and happy now.

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Thanks Brenda! The fire pit is done and it went much smoother and faster than I thought. It looks fantastic and I really love the stone that we chose. Shawn has a few touch ups to do but otherwise it's done. 

We had a gorgeous day today too, not super hot or anything so it was perfect. We had a great day. 

 

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